Question of the Week
January 25, 2000
In the process of getting your drivers license what that your parents did was most supportive and what has been most problematic. The results of this question will be aired on The Today Show in February.
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My parents did things equally problematic and supportive. My mom had a real tendency to get overly stressed out whenever I drove her anywhere. If I made a mistake, she would panic as if I had just gotten in a serious accident. Now, when I drive by myself, I get this really paniced, "deer-in-the-headlights" feeling if I go through a "pink" stoplight or merge onto the freeway. I also wasn't allowed to listen to the radio, which was major trauma for me because I'm a singer. As some other comments said, the silence was much more distracting for me than even the most loud and obnoxious rock music. My parents don't seem to understand that. Then, of course, I was estatic to find a 2000 Honda Civic in my driveway on my birthday. My parents are pretty reasonable with curfews and rules. My mom even got me a cell phone so I can call her if I'm going to be late without getting in trouble. Having a car is the ultimate freedom, and I guess parents have the right to be worried, as long as their issues don't affect my driving! Teresa
When I had my permit and was thinking about getting my license, my parents knew I was afraid of the car and driving in general. Each drive and practice session was painful for me. They told me that they would help me become comfortable with the "around-town" driving and I could worry about stuff like the freeway and expressways later. That really took a load off of me. The most problematic thing would probably be the fact that my mom thinks I can't drive with anything else happening -- my sister can't talk and we can't listen to music. It feels fake and the silence is more distracting than anything else. It's as if I'm putting on a show. It's very discomforting. I listened to music during my driving lessons, so I don't see why she thinks I can't handle it. The few times I drive alone now, I have to sing or put on music to break the silence. =) Shawna
My parents were very supportive towards me getting a license 3 years ago when i was 15 or so... They paid for my lessons, practiced with me and when i got my license they bought me a car. Now when i come home very late, they curse the day i got my pink slip. Sarah
While studying and practicing to acquire my drivers license, the most beneficial and supportive aspect of my parents intervention was that they didn't! They left me alone about it and let me make my own mistakes and prepare in my own way. The only advice I have to give to parents with children about to take the drivers test is to leave them alone and do not offer to assist them with the actual driving part of it if they are going to accompany their lessons with drama and exaggeration. Amanda
While I was learning to drive my dad was really supportive by staying calm while I was behind the wheel. My mom on the other hand was always nervous and it was hard for me to be confident with her constantly on the edge of her seat. When I first got my license my parents would always worry when I was out and seem so grateful when I would come home on time and in one piece. Knowing that they had been worrying made me feel like a bad driver but hearing things like "great job" made me feel like they had confidence in me all along. Sophie
The most supportive thing my parents did in the process of getting my driver's license was get me a car! This showed me that they saw that I was definitely ready and that they trusted me. However, I broke their trust when I didn't listen to them and hit a car at a stop light. They won't let me forget about it. But that's okay. What I didn't like is that when I first started to drive, they yelled and told me (unconctructively) that I was a bad driver. After lots of driving practice with dad and less nervousness, he told me I was a good driver; better than my mom. Leeann
My mom was very relaxed when it came to those "little mistakes" I made (such as running into a gate) but she was always very paranoid when I was driving late at night or in bad weather and so would want me to call her when I got to my location or be home at a specific time. Over all, she was really pretty cool about the whole thing. I think she was just glad that she didn't have to drive me places any more! Adriana
My parents were very supportive in lending their spare time to help teach me to drive. Such as taking me different places, or just letting me drive to a certain destination. The only problem I had with my parents in terms of driving is when they constantly critique my driving while going somewhere. Usually the advice doesn't even help and just aggrevates me even more, which makes it harder to drive. J.P.
Well I've had my drivers license now for almost two years. I have not gotten into any accidents nor have I received any parking violations. To be completely honest my parents role in getting my license was very conducive to being a successful and responsible driver behind the wheel. As soon as I received my permit I practiced with both parents during the night and day. They made sure that I drove in a variety of locations under many locations. Frustratingly my parents did not allow me to test for my license until two months after I had turned 16. They wanted to make sure that I was ready for the responsibility. After I received my license I was not allowed to drive anywhere I wanted with just anyone. I worked my way from the local grocery store to a friends house a bit farther away. Additionally my parents set strict rules that I was only allowed to drive during the day. When I had proved that I had enough experience behind the wheel I was finally allowed to drive at night with friends. The process was long and sometimes it seemed unfair, but as I stated before I am now a great driver and have earned my place on the road. Kelli
I am 17 years old and I still don't have my drivers licence. I know it is a privlidge and everything, but I really don't want it, just so I can be like every body else my age. I am a senior in high school and I would like to have a job. I am flat broke. I live out in the country and I owuld need a car to get to wherever. I have had my temporary license for two years. I have already re-newed it once and it is about to expire again. The biggest problem I have found is actually having my parents let me drive. There are some real reasons to get a lisence, besides looking cool in front of your friends. Emily
this was the coolest thing i could do. when i was first learning to drive my parent that was in the passenger side would always try to hit the brakes on their side when they didnt have them. they did this when i would go fast around sharp corners and other assorted things to make them get all scared. then id laugh. it was some good stuff. then when i was taking the book course id hear all these stories that i thought were pretty cool, because that gory, bloody stuff, i think, is interesting somehow. but then the teacher would start the class with, "I'm going to teach you how to move a careening 2000 pound chunk of steel down a highway amid other 2000 pound chunks of steel." i thought that was dumb, and i was right. but anyways, now when i drive, since i like scaring people, ill go fast just for the sake of watching them make sounds like "whoa!" or "aaah!" and assorted others. ah...it's fun. but then thats the way i am. hehe... luke
I started to get driving lessons, and my car mad brother went out and bought what he said was a really good manual car for $1000. So I paid him $2000 for it, the extra money was to have it fixed and he said that he would drive it until I got my licence. I ended up deciding that i wanted to drive automatic and my brother took that opportunity to tell me about all these problems the car had - which I wouldn't be able to sell unless I got them fixed. So the 'great deal' of a car has now ended up costing me over $4000. Plus he wont give me any lessons because he thinks automatic driving is for losers. Katy
What my parents did that was most supportive was to encourage me and in fact make me drive. I was terribly afraid of handling a death trap on wheels and my father took me around the oval near my street millons of times and once even tricked me into going on a divided highway main road. Encouragement was what I needed the most. What has been the most problematic is my father's lack of encouragement now that I (a full year and a half after getting my liscense) am afraid to drive again. Telling me I need practice and work is not the way to do it. Zoya
my dad took his time teaching me to drive and started when I was 14 on dirt roads far away from anything. By the time I got my license at 16 I had a fair amount of experience. nicole
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