it is the only option. for me at least. self-harm with the hope of self-inflicted death. death, not such a big deal. not really. its weird though. like if i bled to death while lying in the shower, who would find my body? who would wash out the blood? who would tell everyone; how would they tell everyone?
but that stuff doesnt really matter. all that matters is escaping the pain, as selfish as it sounds. i know it might make people think they care which will lead to pain, but im just too weak. sorry, but i cant keep doing this, living this lie. i dont usually mind lying, but now theres just so damn much to deal with. i have more to say...much more. but i doubt anyone cares so why am i even posting this? well if somebody DOES care enough to want to know more, email me. i guess.