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arrrggg
by sam, 18, male

May 2, 2002

okay, so this is like my third post in the last, i dunno, 6 hours or something. oh well... so, does any one else ever feel like everything is just WRONG? like, no matter what youdo, everything just gets messed up? its like, you try to do good things, in your life or in someone else's, or just in general, but it can't ever be that simple. like, what you mean could be taken the wrong way, or just turn out wrong, or even if you do make progress in you life or life in general, bad thing go along with the good, and things get complicated, and things change ALL the time, but they never get any better or worse. i'm so tired of everything. i'm tired of people. i'm tired of things changing all the time. i'm tired of people needing me. i'm tired of needing people back. i wish i could just go live on a mountain, but i wouldn't be happy there, either. i'm tired of fake stupid tv lives. i'm tired of caring about stupid stuff. i'm tired of people caring about stupid sh.it. i'm tired of seeing info-mercials for that stupid blue pain remover cream stuff every time i turn on the tv. i'm sick of people complaining. i'm sick of people trying to change things they don't like about other people. i guess i'm guilty of those, though. i'm sick of people being wankers to each other, and it being normal. i'm god da.mn tired of politicians and news people making killing and death and disease and poverty and violence and corruption and general mean-ness seem normal, or expected human behavior, or inevitable, or acceptable. this stuff is NOT acceptable. i'm tired of feeling like the only person who seems to notice that everything is messed up. it makes me sad that people just go through their lives and don't seem to think about how things are, and changing or not changing or helping or hurting, that people just want to get through and own things, get a house, see some nice places, get married, have kids, and die. thats so DEPRESSING. it makes me feel SICK that people are content just to live their lives, and allow things to affect them without knowing, understanding or caring, or trying to. that people just turn a blind eye to their OWN sadness and suffering. to ignore the sh.it that people do to other people is one thing, but to ignore or accept the stuff that gets done to yourself, that just makes me sad and angry.
i'm tired of people just 'settling' for like whatever comes along. when are people going to figure out that they're worth more than that? i think religion needs to teach that. that people are valuable. but it doesn't. mine didn't.
it makes me angry that i can't be as good as i want to be, or as good as i think i should be. its depressing that i see things in myself that i despise, and that are destructive. how can anything ever get better, how can i ever help make things better if i can't make myself better?
uggghhh. i just wish i could scream until my lungs bleed, and that that screaming would make all the bad things and ideas and feelings just break apart. i guess things don't work like that.
huh.
this was way long. i wonder if they'll post it.

peace
(i guess)

Comment on this entry
Name
Comment

cont'd also.. if you smile and say you are happy then your mind will start believing what you are doing (it's psychology buddy...it's all in your mind) yeah you can fly i know you can
SOME PERSON

This is a very emotional entry and alot of people feel this way whether they seem like it or not. Everything good that you do WILL come back to you and guess what it is a law of the universe!! There's no denying it! Try not to get discouraged because the bad times won't last too long..
SOME PERSON

Just roll with the punches man.
Wildchild

yeah well life is hard get a halmet. (i eman that in the best possible way) relax, ##### happens!
<*>$<*>

read some of my sappy or giddy entries and maybe you'll feel better, or if not then read mine about kissing or sex, then meet me for coffee. k.
daphney

Uh huh, I know that feeling too
Wanderer

yeah.. i know that feeling.... don't ever settle.
d.maya

I think I've seen longer entries. Anyway, I feel the same way somedays.
Silent Girl

I like it. We all think like that sometimes.
ennui

dude, everyday of my life.
Kilgore Trout


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